Rules of Conflict : Management and Resolution

I thought I might take a moment to reflect on

my own personal set of

Normative Guidelines Regarding Conflict

to establish a BaseLine for Future Posts

1) Conflict is part of the Natural Order of Things
~

~ A) Adversary is Not Necessarily Enemy

~ B) All Conflicts are Not equally Threatening

~ C) All Conflicts are Not equally Serious

~ D) Pick Your Battles Carefully

--- 1] When it is a Matter of Life and Death

~~~~ a) You Have the Right To Live

-- 2] When it is a Question of Serious Priority

~~~ a) Remember: Not all Principle is Serious Priority
`````````` 1} You have the Right to your Priorities

-- 3] When it is a Question of Principle

~~~ a) Principles are Not a Matter of Life and Death (not even the ones you are Reading Now)
`````````` 1} You have the Right to your Principles

~ E) Don't Enter Conflict if You don't Have To

-- 1] You do No One a Favour by letting a Conflict go Unresolved

~~~ a) Your Adversary Also has the Right to have Life, Priorities, and Principles

~ F) Pyrrhic Victories are still Losses

2) Loss is Not Necessarily Defeat

~ A) There is Nothing Wrong with Winning,

--- 1 provided What you are Winning is a Contest

`````````` a] Not All Conflicts are Contests

3) The Purpose of Conflict is Synthesis~  

~ A) (Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis)

~ B) The Best Victory is one in which Nobody Loses

--- 1] What is the Best Possible Result?

`````````` a) For You?
`````````` b) For your Opponent?
``````````c) For Both of You: with your Goals Combined?

~ C) Use the Minimum Force necessary to restore a Balance

--- 1] Be the Water, not the Rock

4) In any Conflict, you must Estimate:

~ A) Time

~ B) Place

~ C) Pertinence

~ D) Available Resources

--- 1] Physical & Material

--- 2] Emotional

--- 3] Mental

``````````a) Priority

--- 4] Numinous

``````````a ) Principle

5) Unfair Fighting causes your Opponent to Fight Harder

~ A) Generalizations, Exaggerations, and False Projections are Not Helpful

--- 1] they make it easy for both you and your Adversary to lose sight of the Conflict's Goal

~ B) All Enemies are Bad Enemies

~ C) The Overcommitted Adversary is the Easiest to Defeat

--- 1] Never Fight Anyone who has Nothing to Lose

6) There Exist Six Basic Conflict Options

~ A) Doing Nothing

~ A) Doing Nothing

~ B) Fighting Back

--- 1] Immobilize

--- 2] Control

--- 3] Restore Harmony (Balance, Equilibrium)

~ C) Deception

~ D) Withdrawal

~ E) Parley

~ F) AiKi

--- 1) Accept

--- 2] Harmonize

  --- 3] Redirect

--- 4]  Lead

7) The Goal of Conflict is Harmony, Stability, ---and/or    ~~~~~> Transcendence

~ A) Focus On the Goal 

--- 1] not the Conflict

--- 2] not  your Adversary)

Feel Free to Critique, Dissect, Addend, or even Ridicule,
as you see fit:

I fully expect these Concepts to evolve Further over Time,

especially through Your Feedback.

-Primary References- AiKiDo {and the Dynamic Sphere} (1970) - A. Westbrook & O. Ratti
AiKiDo {in everyday life} (1978) - Terry Dobson & Victor Miller

-Secondary References- The Spiritual Foundations of AiKiDo (1995) --William Gleason
Tai Chi for Beginers (1996) --Claire Hooton
The Secrets of AiKiDo (1997) --John Stevens

-Tertiary References- TaoTeChing (300? B.C.E.) ---LaoTzu (attributed)
Tea Life, Tea Mind (1979) ---Soshitsu Sen XV
Bushido: the Warrior’s Code (1979) --- Inazo Nitobe
Yang Style Tai Chi Chuan (1982) ---Yang Jwing-Ming
Warrior Koans: Early Zen in Japan (1985) ---Trevor Legget
Iron Shirt Chi Kung I&II (1986) ---Mantak Chia
Fusion of the Five Elements {Taoist Inner Alchemy series} (1989) ---Mantak & Maneewan Chia
WaBi-SaBi for artists, designers, poets & philosophers (1994) ---Leonard Koren
Wisdom of Tai Chi : Ancient Secrets to Health & Harmony (1998) ---Dr. Peter Fenton PhD

( My Thanks to Bill Armintrout and the Virtual Community of ‘The Blue Fezz’ 

http://thebluefez.com/

Where The ‘rough draft’ of this was first written and discussed,

and especially to ‘JJ’ (who Really Took the Time to Think About It)

{ The Basic Concepts are

Liberally Adapted from “AiKiDo in Everyday Life” 

(1978 -Terry Dobson & Victor Miller }