Friday, November 20, 2009

Rules of Conflict : Management and Resolution

I thought I might take a moment to reflect on

my own personal set of
Normative Guidelines Regarding Conflict
to establish a BaseLine for Future Posts

1) Conflict is part of the Natural Order of Things

~ A) Adversary is Not Necessarily Enemy

~ B) All Conflicts are Not equally Threatening

~ C) All Conflicts are Not equally Serious

~ D) Pick Your Battles Carefully

--- 1] When it is a Matter of Life and Death

~~~~ a) You Have the Right To Live

-- 2] When it is a Question of Serious Priority

~~~ a) Remember: Not all Principle is Serious Priority
`````````` 1} You have the Right to your Priorities

-- 3] When it is a Question of Principle

~~~ a) Principles are Not a Matter of Life and Death (not even the ones you are Reading Now)
`````````` 1} You have the Right to your Principles

~ E) Don't Enter Conflict if You don't Have To

-- 1] You do No One a Favour by letting a Conflict go Unresolved

~~~ a) Your Adversary Also has the Right to have Life, Priorities, and Principles

~ F) Pyrrhic Victories are still Losses

2) Loss is Not Necessarily Defeat

~ A) There is Nothing Wrong with Winning,

--- 1 provided What you are Winning is a Contest

`````````` a] Not All Conflicts are Contests

3) The Purpose of Conflict is Synthesis~  

~ A) (Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis)

~ B) The Best Victory is one in which Nobody Loses

--- 1] What is the Best Possible Result?

`````````` a) For You?
`````````` b) For your Opponent?
``````````c) For Both of You: with your Goals Combined?

~ C) Use the Minimum Force necessary to restore a Balance

--- 1] Be the Water, not the Rock

4) In any Conflict, you must Estimate:

~ A) Time

~ B) Place

~ C) Pertinence

~ D) Available Resources

--- 1] Physical & Material

--- 2] Emotional

--- 3] Mental

``````````a) Priority

--- 4] Numinous

``````````a ) Principle

5) Unfair Fighting causes your Opponent to Fight Harder

~ A) Generalizations, Exaggerations, and False Projections are Not Helpful

--- 1] they make it easy for both you and your Adversary to lose sight of the Conflict's Goal

~ B) All Enemies are Bad Enemies

~ C) The Overcommitted Adversary is the Easiest to Defeat

--- 1] Never Fight Anyone who has Nothing to Lose

6) There Exist Six Basic Conflict Options

~ A) Doing Nothing

~ A) Doing Nothing

~ B) Fighting Back

--- 1] Immobilize

--- 2] Control

--- 3] Restore Harmony (Balance, Equilibrium)

~ C) Deception

~ D) Withdrawal

~ E) Parley

~ F) AiKi

--- 1) Accept

--- 2] Harmonize

  --- 3] Redirect

--- 4]  Lead

7) The Goal of Conflict is Harmony, Stability, ---and/or    ~~~~~> Transcendence

~ A) Focus On the Goal 

--- 1] not the Conflict

--- 2] not  your Adversary)

Feel Free to Critique, Dissect, Addend, or even Ridicule,
as you see fit:
I fully expect these Concepts to evolve Further over Time,
especially through Your Feedback.

-Primary References- AiKiDo {and the Dynamic Sphere} (1970) - A. Westbrook & O. Ratti
AiKiDo {in everyday life} (1978) - Terry Dobson & Victor Miller

-Secondary References-
The Spiritual Foundations of AiKiDo (1995) --William Gleason
Tai Chi for Beginers (1996) --Claire Hooton
The Secrets of AiKiDo (1997) --John Stevens
-Tertiary References- TaoTeChing (300? B.C.E.) ---LaoTzu (attributed)
Tea Life, Tea Mind (1979) ---Soshitsu Sen XV
Bushido: the Warrior’s Code (1979) --- Inazo Nitobe
Yang Style Tai Chi Chuan (1982) ---Yang Jwing-Ming
Warrior Koans: Early Zen in Japan (1985) ---Trevor Legget
Iron Shirt Chi Kung I&II (1986) ---Mantak Chia
Fusion of the Five Elements {Taoist Inner Alchemy series} (1989) ---Mantak & Maneewan Chia
WaBi-SaBi for artists, designers, poets & philosophers (1994) ---Leonard Koren
Wisdom of Tai Chi : Ancient Secrets to Health & Harmony (1998) ---Dr. Peter Fenton PhD

( My Thanks to Bill Armintrout and the Virtual Community of ‘The Blue Fezz’
Where The ‘rough draft’ of this was first written and discussed,
and especially to ‘JJ’ (who Really Took the Time to Think About It)

{ The Basic Concepts are
Liberally Adapted from “AiKiDo in Everyday Life” 
(1978 -Terry Dobson & Victor Miller }


  1. sOng Of {the} FaTHeR

    That's another day gone by, son, close your eyes
    For the moon is chasing clouds across the skies
    Got to sleep and have no fear, son
    For your mam and dad are near, son
    And the giant is just a shadow on the wall

    Go to sleep and when you wake it will be light
    There's no need to fear the darkness of the night
    It's not like the dark you find, son
    In the depths of some men's minds, son
    That defies the daily coming of the dawn

    Stop crying now, let daddy dry your tears
    There's no bogeyman to get you, never fear
    There's no ogres, wicked witches
    Only greedy sons-of-bitches
    Who are waiting to exploit your life away

    Lie easy in your bed and grow up strong
    You'll be needing all your strength before too long
    For you'll soon be on your way, son
    Fighting battles every day, son
    With an enemy who thinks he owns the world

    Don't you let 'em buy you out or break your pride
    Don't you let yourself be used then cast aside
    If you listen to their lying
    They will con you into dying
    You won't even know that you were once alive

    No more talking now it's time to go to sleep
    There are answers to your questions but they'll keep
    Go on asking while you grow, son
    Go on asking till you know, son
    And then send the answers ringing through the world